Fluff

I have 2 sets of guests arriving this afternoon so that means a day cleaning. Particularly difficult today as it's a glorious day and the hammock is beckoning.

Back to cleaning - did I mention I hate it?

It's just 48 hours since the last guests left and already the house has returned to its natural state - a house inhabited by a teenager, 2 long black haired moulting dogs, 3 million spiders who haven't yet worked out that it is no longer a barn, a builder husband and 24 chickens who see an open door as an open invitation to come in, shake off the dust from their dustbath, then poo on the floor.

I'm not sure how my fellow landladies do it - they seem to be able to clean 3 B&B rooms, 2 self catering cottages and then go out to meet friends for an early lunch. It's takes me the full 6 hours to get 2 rooms and the public areas back to gold award standard.

And today it's made worse by fluff - the air is full of fluff and the doors are open so the house is full of fluff. You remember those red disclosing tablets that the dentist gave you as a kid? You'd chew them and it would stain all the plaque so you could clean your teeth better? well the fluff has attached itself to every single cobweb in the house ( 3 millions spiders - lot of cobwebs ) and is sitting there shouting to guests "Hey look at all these cobwebs - what a lousy housekeeper this landlady is"

Still look on the bright side - one top to bottom house clean with additional fluff removal 3277 steps!

My pedometer

My new pedometer arrived last week. THIS time I will stick to 10,000+ steps a day. I have added incentive as the nurse told me I needed to shift a stone – though she did have the good grace to say she didn’t think I looked like someone with a stone to lose – she was about 6 stone nothing so everyone must look enormous to her.

She then went on to explain that I should cut out chips – STOP! I don’t eat chips and I know all the theory – I’ve been doing this losing weight thing for years. I eat 7 portions of fruit and veg. a day, porridge with blueberries for breakfast and all my other whole-grains and, apart from the odd flake, I can take or leave chocolate. Now red wine, real french bread dipped into artichokes marinated in extra virgin olive oil, homemade pasta with tomato sauce and parmesan – that’s where the problem lies.

So the only way I’m going to do this is by doing more exercise. I’ve been doing some calculations; cooking breakfast for 1 set of guests – 1000 steps – add 700 for 2 sets of guests, playing ball in the paddock with the dogs for 10 minutes – 1000 steps. Walking round the island in the kitchen 10 times – 100 steps ( got a very loud sigh from Rob when he caught me doing that ). Sitting at PC writing 0 steps….I’m off

Myths of being a B&B landlady

"I’m often asked what sort of person you need to be to run a B&B so here are B&B myths dispelled:

1. Do I have to like cleaning?
It helps but I hate cleaning and I get by. A B&B has to be immaculate. If you're not a natural cleaner you can buy in help (not always that easy when you live 20 miles from your nearest neighbour in the wilds of Scotland)

2. Do I have to be able to cook?
Well yes really. Guests going to a British B&B will expect a full welsh, Scottish, Cornish, Shropshire, English, whatever breakfast. If you can't do it now you can learn and practise practise practise.

3. I'm not an early riser?
Lordy - neither am I. I'd happily stay in bed till 10 every morning. But it is part of the deal. I don't serve breakfast till 8.30 ( I did have 5 blokes staying for a rally one weekend who needed to leave at 7.30 and wanted the full English - though I'm sure baked beans was a bad move when you were crammed all day in a tiny rally car. "But they said that'll be ok cos you probably get up at that time anyway doing you?" NO! )

4. I'm not a very sociable type of person
Sorry - deal breaker. You have to like and get on with everyone for this job. You need to know when people want to chat and when they want to be left alone. You need to be able to facilitate total strangers over the breakfast table. Even when you're suffering PMT, the cat has died and your husband has left you"